THE FINE PRINT

CONTACT

Spite Bites, Denmark. Questions, cancellations or complaints: reply to your order receipt email, and it reaches us directly. We answer within 2 working days.

SHIPPING

Merch is printed to order (2–5 working days) and shipped by our print partner. Chocolate is not on sale yet. Once shipped, tracked delivery usually takes 2–4 working days in Denmark, 3–7 in the rest of the EU, 4–10 in the rest of Europe and 6–20 elsewhere. You see tracking on your order page (the link you land on after paying).

Shipping prices are shown in the cart before checkout: Denmark €5.95 (free from 3 bars), EU €7.95 (free from 6 bars), rest of Europe €12.95, rest of the world €19.95. Merch is printed on demand and ships separately; its shipping is calculated live for your exact items and destination and shown in the cart before you pay (typically €5.95 for one item within the EU/US, about €2–3 for each extra item).

Outside the EU the recipient may be charged local import duties or taxes by the carrier. We currently don’t ship to the United Kingdom, Russia or Belarus. Parcels never contain prices or receipts. Chocolate melts: in hot weather we may add insulation or briefly delay dispatch.

CANCELLATIONS, RETURNS & REFUNDS

Made-to-order merch: each item is printed for you, so tell us quickly if you change your mind: reply to your receipt email and we’ll cancel and refund if it hasn’t gone to print.

Right of withdrawal: as an EU consumer you have 14 days from delivery to withdraw from your purchase without giving a reason. Food that has been unsealed and personalised items (such as a printed spite note) can’t be returned for hygiene/personalisation reasons, but unopened items can. To withdraw, email us within the 14 days; we refund within 14 days of receiving your notice (and may wait until the goods are back). You pay the return postage.

Damaged, melted or wrong items: send a photo within 14 days of delivery and we’ll replace or refund it. Your statutory rights under Danish and EU consumer law always apply in addition to this policy.

Complaints can also be submitted to the Danish Consumer Complaints Board (Nævnenes Hus, naevneneshus.dk) or via the EU complaints portal.

PRIVACY

We collect only what’s needed to deliver your order: name and address of the recipient, your email, phone (for the carrier), the items and your spite note.

Who processes it: Stripe (payment and order records), Cloudflare (hosting), our chocolate partner and Printful (for merch) to pack and ship, and the carrier. Your card details go directly to Stripe and are never seen by us.

We keep order data as long as bookkeeping law requires (5 years in Denmark) and use it for nothing else. If you join the chocolate waitlist we store your email (and country) with Cloudflare and use it for one purpose: a single email when the chocolate launches; reply to it to be removed. No tracking cookies or ad pixels are used on this site; your cart is stored only in your own browser tab. You may ask for access to, correction or deletion of your data by replying to your receipt email, and you can complain to Datatilsynet (the Danish Data Protection Agency).

TERMS & CONDITIONS

Prices are in euros and include VAT where applicable. The contract is concluded when payment succeeds and you receive the receipt. Payment is taken by Stripe at checkout.

Spite notes are printed as written. We may refuse or cancel (with full refund) orders whose note is threatening, harassing, hateful, discriminatory or otherwise unlawful. Keep it petty, not criminal.

Spite Bites is a humorous gift. Claims such as “passive-aggressive perfection” are jokes, not nutrition or health claims. Danish law applies; this doesn’t limit your mandatory consumer rights in your country of residence.

FOOD & ALLERGEN INFORMATION

Status: not on sale yet. Spite Bites will be milk chocolate made by a European chocolate maker. The full mandatory food information below is published here before any chocolate is sold.

The “Spite Facts” panel on the wrapper is a joke, not nutrition information.